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How to Disagree (Without Being
Disagreeable)
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Business is a contact sport, and conflict is a given. Here's a collection of new ideas and hands on tools to make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but lots more productive.
Mark Twain once observed, "It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races." For that matter, it is divergence of opinion that makes companies. After all, business is a contact sport, with conflict a given. The problem isn't with disagreements, but with how they're resolved.
To help you learn how to disagree without being disagreeable, we've assembled the fast company Starter Kit on Managing Disagreements. The breakthrough ideas and techniques these tools offer are designed to help you make your disagreements not only easier to handle, but also more productive. And if all else fails, remember another piece of advice from Twain: "When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."
I'M OK, YOU'RE A PAIN IN THE NECK
Let's face it, some people aren't willing to admit that taking a positive approach to conflict is in their best interest. To them, conflict means fighting. Period. You're not going to change those folks - even several years on an analyst's couch probably wouldn't do them much good. You can, however, blunt their attacks and go about your business. Consider these tactics from the enduring Coping with Difficult People ( Dell Publishing ) by Robert Bramson, a clinical psychiatrist and human resources consultant:
SHERMAN TANKS try to intimidate you with in-your-face arguments. They state opinions as facts.
SNIPERS take potshots in meetings but avoid one-on-one confrontations.
CHRONIC COMPLAINERS find fault with everyone - except themselves.
NEGATIVISTS know that nothing new will work; they'll toss a wet blanket when you're trying to light a fire in group brainstorming sessions.
EXPLODERS throw tantrums that can escalate quickly.
Don Wallace doncw3@aol.com is a journalist living in Manhattan. Scott McMurray, smcmurray@aol.com , who spent 10 years at "The Wall Street Journal", freelances from Chicago.
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